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How to Respond: Facilitating Productive Discussions about Current Events

This post, originally published on our website in 2017, is by guest author, Lorien Carter, Professor of Practice, Brown School of Social Work, Washington University in St. Louis.

Microaggressions . . . election results . . . DACA announcements . . . court case verdicts . . . our classrooms are spaces where these, and so many more, “hot button” topics and conversations happen. Sometimes, we’re prepared for these since Social Work and Public Health content is often focused on calling attention to disparities and injustices and then building skills to address those in professional practice. Other times, these conversations are driven by current events or by other factors external to the course content. These are the ones that are most likely to catch faculty off guard or unprepared.

While microaggressions, the election results, and the recent verdict are not exactly the same, the strategies for how to handle them when they arise in your classroom are similar. That’s why the teaching tip is simply called “how to respond.” You can use these tips with a wide variety of difficult conversations in your classrooms (and in your other professional relationships, and in your personal relationships, and everywhere!)

Tip #1: Respond. Even if you aren’t sure exactly what to say. Even if there are only 2 minutes left in class. Even if it’s the last day of class. Even if you’re not entirely sure that anyone heard the statement. Even if you aren’t sure that you heard the statement correctly. Respond. Not responding is perceived by students as faculty either (at worst) agreeing with the comments or (at least) not caring enough to take actions to insure that everyone is held accountable for creating and maintaining an emotionally safe and inclusive classroom climate. So, respond. Respond even if it’s awkwardly worded. Respond even if it is imperfect. Respond.

Tip #2: Create a respectful and inclusive classroom environment, from day 1, which is intentionally structured to productively address hot topics when they arise. State your expectations in the syllabus and verbally on the first day of class. Create ownership and accountability by following these tips for co-creating ground rules. You may also find it helpful to give students some guidance about what respectful dialogue can look like, sound like, and feel like.

Tip #3: Model civil discourse strategies , including calling attention to the diversity of perspectives on an issue. It’s important that we not inadvertently (or on purpose) emphasize a particular viewpoint or perspective as being the “only right” one. Our role as facilitators of dialogue is to ensure that every student in our classes feels safe to share their perspectives. This can be challenging when we assume that everyone shares the same perspective but the reality is that our students’ backgrounds and identities aren’t always known and if we assume that there’s only one viewpoint to a discussion, we run a significant risk of shutting down some members of our classes and community. One way to ensure that we’re being objective is to ask for other perspectives to be voiced. Saying things like: “has anyone heard a different response to {the verdict}?” or “what other perspectives about the {DACA policy} haven’t been brought up during our discussion today?” “How would having those perspectives in the discussion change the ideas or suggestions or solutions?” These types of questions build critical thinking skills for students as well as modeling for them how to engage in civil discourse.

Tip #4: Use a communication framework like OTFD to respond when a hot button topic or micro aggression occurs. OTFD stands for “Open The Front Door” to communication. It also stands for the steps in the framework: O is for Observation . State what you observed, heard, saw in concrete and behavioral terms. T is for Think . Share your thoughts, or solicit thoughts from other students, about what was observed. F is for Feel . Describe your feelings or emotions, or solicit these from other students, about the situation. D is for Desire . State your desired outcome or what you want to happen in order to resolve the situation.

Here’s an example ( this is hypothetical; it is NOT from an actual WUSTL class discussion ): A student makes a comment about how law enforcement officers have an even harder job these days since people are recording them during routine traffic stops and several other students in the class have a strong negative reaction to the comment. You could use the OTFD framework to say something like:

I’d like to pause for a moment and talk a bit more about what I just heard and saw happen here. I heard Student A say that law enforcement officers have been unfairly treated by the presence of onlookers with cell phones and I saw Students B and C frown and shake their heads in disagreement (Observation). I think there are a lot of different perspectives about this particular issue. On the one hand, we may find ourselves concerned that the split second decisions that police officers have to make on a regular basis are now being filmed by bystanders who aren’t able to provide adequate context for what actually happened at the scene. On the other hand, we may think that every action of police officers should be unbiased and above reproach, regardless of whether or not there’s a body camera or a bystander with a cell phone capturing video of the situation (Think). I feel uncomfortable moving forward with another discussion topic (Feel) until we acknowledge how this comment could make others in this class feel. Someone might now feel unsafe sharing that they have relatives on the police force and that could silence their participation in the class. I want to make sure that we can openly discuss the different perspectives on this while not silencing any voices (Desire) so I’d like to hear from some of you about what you need from this discussion right now.

If you want more information about OTFD, watch this short video that describes OTFD with examples of how to use this strategy at home, with partners or children as well as in other emotionally charged situations, like classes. And then, watch this video that describes OTFD in the context of managing team conflicts. (See, these tips are useful in so many interactions!)

Tip #5: Debrief after the difficult discussion. You can debrief with students and you can also do some self-reflection (or schedule a consultation with me to reflect and process even more). With students, check in to make sure they feel like there was resolution to the issue (when resolution is possible) or that there was attention paid to their perspectives, because sometimes, resolution isn’t possible or at least isn’t possible at this moment in time. One quick debrief strategy is the “fist to five” feedback . This is a non-verbal rating of how they’re feeling using a 5-point scale. They raise their hands and from a continuum of the fist, symbolizing that they are not feeling resolved and need to stay with the discussion longer or in another way, to all 5 fingers being raised if they’re feeling resolved and ready to move on.

Many of these tips came from a recent webinar by Magna Publications and the Teaching Professor called: How to Create A Transformative Learning Experience for Students By Managing Hot Moments and Difficult Discussions in the Classroom . I participated in the webinar and received a collection of handouts and resources.

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Real-life wisdom for today's teens.

Communication Series by SuperCamp: #1 – Open the Front Door

Communication is the key to positive, meaningful relationships in all areas of our lives—home, school, college, and career. Wherever we are in life, the ability to relate to others and communicate clearly gives us an advantage. In our SuperCamp programs we teach students some powerful tools for achieving clear, constructive communication and maintaining positive relationships.

This series will include the following communication topics:

• #1 – Open the Front Door: Communicate negative feelings with a positive approach
• #2 – Four-Part Apology: Quickly and authentically acknowledge and apologize for mistakes
• #3 – Three Conversation Don’ts: Avoid communication killers like reassurance, advice, and identification
• #4 – Active Listening: Pay attention to the words and the non-verbal communication in a conversation
• #5 – Visible communication: Make your intent visible, make your purpose clear

Open the Front Door (OTFD) to Positive Communication

OTFD is a communication tool designed to open the front door to clear and direct communication. When this tool is used to resolve an uncomfortable situation in a relationship, no one feels confronted or put on the defensive. When used with positive intent, this tool can maintain healthy relationships and even strengthen them.

It’s a dilemma we’re all familiar with—feeling the need to clear up a negative situation when someone has hurt or mistreated us in some way. It’s often awkward and uncomfortable to deal with negativity in a relationship and sometimes we just avoid it. OTFD is a great tool to help us handle conflicts that come up in everyone’s lives now and then.

With OTFD, we can express our thoughts and feelings in a positive and direct manner without making the other person feel attacked and defensive. It’s an approach that resolves conflict quickly and efficiently, and still shows respect to the other person. Both parties can move on and maintain a positive relationship with this communication technique. And it works with everyone—our siblings, friends, classmates, parents, anyone with whom we communicate.

OTFD stands for the four steps of this valuable tool: observation, thoughts, feelings, and desire . It’s important to note that throughout this process it’s vital to stick with “I” statements. If we go the route of “You” did this or “You” said that, we are immediately perceived to be challenging the person and inviting only defensive responses, which will not achieve anything positive. In fact, it will produce another negative encounter. Avoid any thoughts of blaming, shaming, judging, or insulting the other person and you’ll realize the power of OTFD!

O – Observation: In this first step we simply state the facts of the situation. We tell the other person what happened in a factual, objective, fly-on-the-wall way. We share what we observed, something that anyone else could have observed as well. This step is not a judgment or conclusion—it’s merely data.

Example: We were supposed to meet for lunch at noon, and it’s now 12:45.

T – Thought: Next we share our thoughts about what occurred. Using “I” statements we tell the person our opinions about what happened.

Example: I’m wondering what happened to make you late and why you didn’t let me know. I’m thinking maybe you don’t care.

F – Feeling: Now we tell the person how we feel about what happened, again using “I” statements.

Example: I’m feeling frustrated and a little hurt that you didn’t care enough to let me know you were going to be late.

D – Desire: Finally, sharing our desire allows us to express the outcome we’d like to see from this conversation.

Example: In the future I’d like you to let me know as soon as you know you’re going to be late.

The beauty of OTFD is in its order. Following these four steps in this order tells the other person—in a non-confrontational way—precisely what they need to know to understand the situation we’re speaking about. The structure of this communication tool creates its own success. We might cover each of these areas when we don’t use OTFD, yet usually not in a way that the other person can readily understand and accept.

Let’s look at what happens when we don’t use OTFD, and when we don’t consider the power of our words, even if we do use all of its steps:

• We may start with our feeling . I’m mad! The other person instantly gets defensive, possibly without even knowing why we’re mad.
• If we start with our thought or opinion— I think you’re irresponsible —the other person still gets defensive, wondering what right we have to make such a judgment. They may not have any idea what made us think that way.
• When we start with our desire — You should be more considerate of others —the other person immediately gets defensive, thinking of what hurtful comeback to give us, rather than the real issue, which they may not even be aware of.
• Beginning with the observation gets both people at the same starting point, allowing for a much more productive conversation and a positive outcome.

When using OTFD, many misunderstandings are resolved right there in the first step when the person realizes how they let us down and apologizes. If the issue continues past the observation stage, the remaining OTFD steps are there to further facilitate the communication process. Often, you’ll find when you finish communicating this way, that the person you’re talking to will “get it” and agree . . . Yes, I see why you feel this way, and I’m sorry.

We’ve found in teaching this process that taking the time to organize our thoughts into this order also calms us down and removes the emotional context so that we can word each step in a way that is easier for the listener to hear and understand. When we use OTFD, we can tell the person how we feel and what we think about an experience with them without allowing the communication process to feel like a personal attack.

Remember that your best outcomes in these uncomfortable situations will come from a conversation, not from a confrontation. So open the front door to positive communication today . . . and keep it open! With this positive approach—in easy or tense situations—you will easily resolve differences and constantly strengthen your relationships! And strong positive relationships will serve you well in every area of your life.

The next article in our Communication Series is about another valuable communication tool—the Four-Part Apology . We look at this as the twin sister of OTFD as it provides ideas for an effective response to OTFD, or can be used any time we’ve made a mistake that may have damaged a relationship.

SuperCamp is a leadership, learning and life skills residential program for teens that has offered sessions in the U.S. and internationally. SuperCamp has more than 85,000 alumni around the world, many now parents who have sent their children for a similar experience. The Quantum Learning Education division provides programs for teachers, administrators, students and parents in thousands of schools and districts in the U.S., as well as internationally. These programs and the 8 Keys of Excellence character education program have touched millions of young people in the U.S. and overseas. Read More…

Learn more about Quantum Learning Network’s SuperCamp, Quantum Learning Education, and virtual programs HERE. www.QLUniverse.com

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