essay about a single mother

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Being a single mom is the hardest, most empowering thing I’ve ever done

It isn’t easy—but it does teach you how strong you are.

By Sydney Hutt Updated April 27, 2022

When I told my own mother that my husband and I were splitting up , the first thing she asked me was, “Are you sure?” She’d raised my three siblings and I almost single-handedly and insisted that it was “the hardest thing she’s ever done.”

However, I didn’t take her worries too seriously. At the time, I was so jazzed on the idea of independence, too busy scream-singing The Pussycat Dolls’ “I Don’t Need a Man” in the shower that I regarded my mom’s advice about being a single mom as a bridge for Future Sydney to cross.

Related: To the mama just starting the co-parenting journey: The handoffs were the hardest part for me

Well, that future came soon enough. Once I was on my own, I realized that even if I’d already felt like I was doing 90 percent of the parenting and cleaning and general household running many of us moms take upon ourselves, that 10 percent made a huge difference.

1. It’s so much harder than I thought it would be

My husband and I had a routine where he would do the kids’ bath and put them to bed so I could get a break after he got home from work. After he moved out, suddenly that was completely on me, no matter how burned-out I felt .

And not only was I doing all the work during the day, but then once they were asleep there was no one there to help me clean up the hurricane-house, or fold the endless baskets of laundry or to remember to turn the dishwasher on before bed. There was no one to get up with the kids in the middle of the night either, to help soothe their tears, or put them on the toilet , or give out Tylenol for sudden fevers or scrub puke out of the carpet. No one to pick up the prescriptions or forgotten groceries, to catch the things I’d dropped or missed. I’m not going to pretend I wasn’t overwhelmed at first.

2. It’s empowering

Last week, after I killed the second spider I’d found in my house in a matter of days, I sent my mom a triumphant text bragging about my courage. After all, I’d always been able to shriek and have a man rush to crush whatever creepy-crawly had sent me fleeing onto the furniture. In response, my mom texted me back: “Living alone is empowering because it’s not easy.”

And that’s the truth: Being forced to rely entirely on myself for the first time since I was 20 has caused me take on a level of responsibility that’s ultimately made me much, much happier (though also more wrinkly).

3. It’s lonely

One thing I really didn’t expect was the intense isolation that comes with being a single mom. When you’re married, you’re often so used to your partner’s constant presence that you can crave having the house to yourself—an evening alone seems like bliss from a distance.

But quickly I discovered that aaaall that quiet was a huge adjustment. After I put the kids down each night, I was forced to face the long, empty hours before bed that seemed impossible to fill without a companion. The silence was unnerving, and I fantasized about moving into my mom’s house where I could be sure of conversation. But I resisted, and recently, amazingly, I’ve noticed that for the first time ever I’m actually learning how to be alone—and loving it too! But, the odd time I do want to go out…

Related: Motherhood can be lonely, but I want my child to understand the importance of community

4. It’s really tough to get a night away

When I was still married, after my husband got home I’d often take off to the grocery store solo. I’d take my time and stroll down the aisles, pushing my cart like I was a celebrity and they’d closed the store just for me. Sometimes I’d stop by a friends’ house for wine and child-free conversation or go for a drive just to enjoy not reaching backwards groping blindly for a toy as nursery rhymes blare through the speakers. Now that I live alone, I’ve lost that free child-minding a marriage partner offers, and I spend more evenings on the couch yelling at MasterChef Canada than I’d like to admit.

5. The time off isn’t really “off”

Most Friday nights, my ex will swing by and pick up our kids so they can spend the weekend with him. He brings them back on Sundays, meaning I have about one full day without them. Initially, I had ALL the feelings about this arrangement. (What would I do with so much free time?!)

But it turns out, that day off is usually just me catching up on the things I didn’t get a chance to do during the week−a list that is now much longer than it used to be.

Related: What do moms do on their days off? Work

6. You compromise more

There is one fewer parent to go around now and my kids definitely feel it. They act out more than they used to and it seems they’re very aware of the fact that they outnumber me. I’m also unable now to give them each as much of that all-important individual time they enjoyed before my husband and I split. The guilt about this can weigh pretty heavy at times, but I’m learning to recognize that while I’m not giving my girls everything, I really am doing the best I can—and that has to be good enough.

Related: 10 ways to get past conflict with your co-parent

7. You compromise less

Marriage is all about compromise, whether it’s agreeing on paint colors, or household chores or how to spend your money. Since I’ve moved out on my own, I’ve discovered that there is absolute liberation in not having to consider anyone else’s opinion.

My bedroom is the girliest it’s been since I was a teenager, I have books stacked in every corner of my house and if I don’t want to wash the dishes at the end of the night I really don’t have to. My home is entirely mine and it’s a freedom I plan on savoring, along with sleeping smack-dab in the center of the bed and hogging every last pillow.

8. You begin extreme vetting of potential partners

With all this independence and empowerment, I’ve become very unwilling to give up or even share my new life with anyone. I’m being cautious. I’m wary of needing someone too much, of leaning on them instead of myself—it would probably be an easy habit to slide back into. And even now that I am seeing someone, I’ve set serious limits, most of which equal moving about as fast as frozen molasses in terms of how much time and space I’ll devote to our relationship.

I’m not looking for someone to take back that 10 percent and make my life easier—after all, it’s the tough stuff that reminds me what I’m made of.

A version of this story was published July 16, 2017. It has been updated

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Essay on Being A Single Mom

Students are often asked to write an essay on Being A Single Mom in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Being A Single Mom

Introduction.

Being a single mom means taking on the role of both parents. It involves a lot of hard work, love, and courage. Single moms face unique challenges, but they also experience special joys.

Single moms often feel a lot of pressure. They have to earn money, care for their children, and manage the home. It can be tough to find time for themselves. They may also feel lonely or stressed.

Despite the challenges, single moms show great strength. They become experts at multitasking. They also learn to solve problems on their own. Their strength inspires their children.

Being a single mom is also full of joys. They get to watch their kids grow and learn. They can feel proud of their hard work. Their bond with their children can be very strong.

Being a single mom is not easy, but it’s rewarding. Single moms are superheroes. They show us that love and strength can overcome any challenge.

250 Words Essay on Being A Single Mom

Being a single mom means taking on the role of both parents for your kids. It’s a tough job that requires strength, patience, and a lot of love.

Responsibilities

A single mom has to handle everything herself. She must work to pay bills, cook meals, help with homework, and make sure her kids are happy and healthy. She also has to find time for herself, which can be hard.

One of the main challenges single moms face is financial stress. With only one income, it can be hard to meet all the family’s needs. They also deal with social stigma, as some people might judge them for being a single parent.

Despite these challenges, being a single mom can also show the power of a woman. Single moms often become very strong, as they have to deal with tough situations every day. They are role models for their kids, showing them that it’s possible to overcome any challenge.

Single moms need support from family, friends, and society. This can come in many forms, like helping with childcare, offering emotional support, or providing financial aid.

Being a single mom is not easy, but it can also be rewarding. It’s a chance to show your kids the strength of a woman and the power of love. So, while it’s tough, many single moms wouldn’t change it for the world.

500 Words Essay on Being A Single Mom

Being a single mom is a role filled with both challenges and rewards. It involves raising a child or children without the daily support of a partner. This essay will discuss the various aspects of being a single mom, including the struggles, strengths, and the unique joys that come with it.

Challenges Faced

Single moms face many challenges. One of the main ones is financial pressure. With only one income, it can be hard to pay for everything a child needs. From food and clothes to education costs, it all adds up. Single moms also often struggle with time management. They have to juggle work, child care, house chores, and sometimes even studies. This can leave them feeling tired and stressed.

Strengths Developed

Despite the challenges, being a single mom also helps develop many strengths. They become very good at problem-solving. When something goes wrong, they can’t pass the problem to someone else. They have to fix it themselves. This helps them become strong and independent. Single moms also learn to be very organized. They have to plan their day well to fit in all their tasks. This helps them become efficient and effective in what they do.

Unique Joys

Even with all the struggles, being a single mom also brings unique joys. The bond between a single mom and her child is often very strong. They rely on each other and this creates a deep connection. Single moms also get to make all the decisions for their child. This can be empowering. They get to decide what values to teach their child, what food to cook for them, and how to spend their time together. These moments can bring a lot of happiness.

Support for Single Moms

It’s important for single moms to get support. This can come from family, friends, or community groups. Support can mean someone to talk to when things get tough. Or it can be practical help, like babysitting or sharing meals. Schools can also help by providing resources and understanding the special needs of children from single-parent families.

In conclusion, being a single mom is a journey filled with ups and downs. There are challenges, like financial pressure and time management. But there are also strengths developed, like problem-solving and organization. And there are unique joys, like the strong bond with their child and the power to make decisions. With the right support, single moms can provide a loving and nurturing environment for their children. They are a testament to the resilience and strength of the human spirit.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Single Parenting — Being a Single Mother: the Reality and Challenges They Face

Being a Single Mother: The Reality and Challenges They Face

• Categories: Mother Motherhood Single Parenting

About this sample

Words: 1058 |

Published: Apr 17, 2023

Words: 1058 | Pages: 2 | 6 min read

• Financial Problems
• Juggling Between Work & Family
• Hard to Find Reliable Babysitters
• Unwanted Proposals of Marriage & Indecisive State of Mind
• Less Quality Time to Spend with their Child
• Filling of Legal Documents
• Judged by Society

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The beauty of being a single mom people don't understand

The summer I was 31, I put my belongings in storage and went to Europe. I told everyone I was planning to finally finish my novel, but in reality, I was hoping to meet my future husband. I went on Tinder dates across Europe before I settled in Dublin, Ireland, for a few months. 

By the fall, I was back in the U.S. I didn’t have a husband, or a boyfriend. But I was pregnant, and committed to raising my child as a single mom . The details matter less and less with each passing year, and I try to keep them relatively opaque to preserve my daughter’s privacy. But her dad isn’t in the picture or on her birth certificate. Since the first day I saw the double pale pink line on the pregnancy test, it’s just been the two of us. And I am so grateful for that.

In my 20s, I worked at a women’s magazine, primarily focused on sex and relationship content. My circle of friends was predominantly women. I saw relationships as a means to an end. By the time I hit 30 and more of my friends were becoming partnered, I felt unmoored and panicky. I was done with my life as a single woman, but unsure what I wanted for the future. I would approach dates like job interviews, trying to cast the person in front of me for the role of husband. Did he have a stable job? Great. A good relationship with his family? Awesome. Did he want kids in the future? Then I would do whatever I could to ensure we would have a second date. I didn’t have time to talk about favorite books or musical tastes or what inspired him. If he sounded good on paper, then he was the right fit for me. To me, having a partner was essential to “ladder up” in the game of life. While I knew this wasn’t a healthy approach to relationships, I also didn’t really see an alternative. I wanted a family. And a husband was the way to get it.

But then, my unexpected pregnancy changed everything — starting with my outlook.

The more things I did by myself — even things that people around me said couldn’t be done, like taking care of a newborn alone — the more I realized I didn’t need a partner. In fact, I realized that in many ways, I didn’t want one.

I went to the hospital in labor on the subway, by myself. I came home three days later, cesarean-section-sore, by myself. For the first seven months of being a parent, my daughter came everywhere with me, simply because there was no one else to watch her. Were there sleepless nights? Of course. Hours of endless Googling the afternoon she rolled off the bed onto the carpeted floor? Without a doubt. But there was also a sense of calm growing inside me. The more things I did by myself — even things that people around me said couldn’t be done, like taking care of a newborn alone — the more I realized I didn’t need a partner. In fact, I realized that in many ways, I didn’t want one.

This became more apparent as I saw how easily resentments could grow in relationships . I saw partnered friends struggle with compromises and have disagreements about child-rearing. Everything from which foods to introduce to their infants to where to send their child to day care was a topic for discussion, and often disagreement. Not needing to compromise made me rely on my own intuition and become incredibly comfortable with my own internal voice and compass. 

I was also falling in love, and it looked nothing like what I had imagined. Instead of falling in love with a potential partner, I was experiencing love for the first time with my child. I was entranced by her opinions and her personality, the way she loved animals and sang off-key to the “Frozen” soundtrack and the millions of other things she did that were toddler-typical but also unique to her. She had mannerisms that I recognized from my own childhood pictures — a half smile, bright blue eyes — but was so very much herself. 

She was also completely dependent on me. Everything from the jobs I took to where I lived was decided within the lens of what was best for her. But rather than feel resentful, I felt empowered. I had the ability to put someone else above myself. 

Rather than feel resentful, I felt empowered. I had the ability to put someone else above myself.

In my 20s, I dated one man for six months, which is my longest romantic relationship to date. His biography — lawyer, smart, wanted kids in the future — checked all the right boxes. One night, he called me because he had sprained his wrist during a workout. “I don’t want to be by myself tonight. I think I need someone here,” he said. I remember bristling in annoyance. I had a huge work project due the next day. My plan had been to spend the weekend holed up in my apartment, alone, completing it. In fact, I had liked being by myself, without anyone interrupting me. I didn’t want to be with him, and I didn’t want anyone depending on me. But I felt the right thing to do was to put aside my own needs and go take care of him for the evening, even though I was resentful and angry.

We broke up not long after, but that experience worried me. Maybe, I thought, it was proof I wasn’t meant for relationships. His request had been so normal. Why had it made me so angry? It wasn’t until I was parenting Lucy did I realize what love without expectations felt like. I was learning to parent while learning to love, and it was a deep, intense, healing journey that would have been impossible if I had just fallen into a relationship because someone checked the right boxes.

I don’t want to say that being a solo parent is easy. It’s not. I’ve made a ton of compromises in my career to have the flexibility needed for taking care of a young child. The parent-child relationship when there’s only one parent and one child can be incredibly intense. I never want Lucy to feel responsible for my emotions, and I want her to realize that while this is a life that makes sense for me, it’s not one that makes sense for everyone. I would love her to be able to have that deep, all-consuming love with a partner that eluded me in my twenties. But I know now that it’s also fine if she doesn’t. 

Today, Lucy is 8. And I know a child is very different from having a partner. But as so many of my friends’ and acquaintances’ marriages crumbled due to COVID and other factors, I’m so thankful for the stability that I was able to give Lucy by recognizing that my potential as a parent was independent of my potential as a partner.  

In the past two years, I’ve also started going on dates. I’ve lost the need to couple up, which has meant I’m a lot more genuine on dates. I’ve lost the “pick me, pick me” mentality of my 20s and finally have the perspective I needed to determine: Do I like this person? I also have confidence in knowing what is right for me. I know that I will never settle into something that isn’t the right fit, and that’s something I want Lucy to learn, too. I want her to learn she has inner strength and resolve inside her. But most of all, I want her to know that sometimes, living life out of order can be magical, empowering and exactly the right path.

Do you have a personal essay to share with TODAY? Please send your ideas to  [email protected] .

Anna Davies is a writer, editor and content strategist living in Jersey City, New Jersey, with her daughter. She has written for The New York Times, New York, Glamour and others. She loves traveling and sharing the adventures she has with her daughter on Instagram @babybackpacker . 

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My essay is going to be about the day I gave birth to my daugther. Febubary 27,2015 will alwaysbe a day to remember for me. I woke and it was a regular day just waiting for my daugther to decide it was time to come out. i had went to starbucks with my sister , mom , and sister in law on my way back home i started feeling uncomfortable. We got back home and waited around.

Benefits Of Being A Single Mother Essay

Single motherhood calls for a great balance to be struck – between parenting, earning a livelihood and finding little time to spend on yourself. Everything that must be done starts with your own hands – cooking, washing, cleaning, taking care of children and keeping house. But today, as divorce rates increase, more and women are becoming single parents – empowered, strong and able to manage on their own.

Personal Narrative Essay: The Story Of My Pregnancy

This is the story of my pregnancy. The night I found out I was pregnant I got a funny feeling in my stomach, and I wasn’t sure what was going on. I told my mom what was going on, but she was already suspecting I was pregnant and already had a test ready for me to take. I took the test and the results was positive.

Personal Narrative Essay: Becoming A Father In My Life

I can still remember like it was yesterday the day my son was born. The feelings leading up to the day he was born were the most nerve racking days of my life. On August 27th 2015 me and my wife sat at home expecting the our son any moment. My mother was also with us and was there to help us after the baby was born. As the day went by the house filed with boredom and the feeling of nervousness, and outside being gray and rainy I knew that it wasn 't a beach day.

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